There’s comfort in routine
Routine is important for Autistic people because it makes life more predictable, helping us feel in control and reducing anxiety. This can make it easier to handle stress and manage things like sensory overload (Collis et al., 2024).
As a child, I loved routine and did not like change at all. I loved things the way they were. However, my mother helped me to embrace small changes over time. Her encouragement made me realise that change isn’t always a bad thing. Some changes are positive while others are negative.
As I grew into a teenager, I still wasn’t a huge supporter of change. But I slowly began to adapt to changes around me, especially changes that I knew I would benefit from. If certain changes don’t benefit me at all, I would be against those changes. Even as an adult, I still attain that mindset. If changes are to be implemented, I appreciate being given notice about them. That way, if I know about any upcoming changes, I have the time and space to mentally prepare myself.
Change isn’t always easy for people, I know. Even neurotypical people find change difficult too, but in some cases, Autistic people have a harder time accepting change. While it’s easier said than done, it is still possible. You just need to find the right support system to help you navigate the many changes that happen in life.
People on the autism spectrum require being informed of any changes coming their way. Autistic people are all different. Some people don’t mind changes, some are more accepting of it while others are completely against the very idea. For some, the mention of change can even be a trigger for them to become overwhelmed or have a meltdown. This is because some Autistic people are so content with things as they are to the point of wanting nothing to change one bit.
Setting a routine can be formed by various means, whether it’s by phone calls, emails, text messages, using a diary, in-person communication or letters. Routines are defined by what is happening in the morning, then afternoon followed by evening. All three phases of the day can involve any kind of activity, it could be errands, tasks, sports, exercise, recreation, workdays and meal times. People on the autism spectrum find comfort in routines because they love things that have order and structure. It is what helps them get through the day without hassle. However, the main constant in life is change and for some people, it can cause disruptions to schedules.
I know how hard it is to accept change
I understand completely that change is still hard to accept sometimes. Even as an adult, I still have difficulty accepting change. Especially friends going or moving away, growing up more quickly than I did, becoming parents and to some degree, not working every day.
Another example I can think of is that in late February 2024, I lost my grandmother and after six months, I still haven’t fully accepted it yet. Sometimes, we need time to come around and accept the changes in our lives. Being pushed or demanded to accept change will only cause more harm than good.
Being an actor is sometimes terrifying. There’s no security or stability, it’s not a forever thing. When you’re working on a project, everyone is together for a period of time and when it ends, it feels like you’re back to nothing happened. Sometimes, I find this truth hard to accept myself. When I was filming Austin in November and December of 2023 and January of 2024, I was having the time of my life. When each phase of filming ended, I got emotional both times. I was essentially in tears. I’m still a newcomer to the industry so it will take me some time to come around. When people face changes in exciting times, it can be difficult to accept change because we live our lives to the fullest.
A more recent example is when I did my first full day on the job here at Aspect, my work buddy who I hold dearly to my heart, was overseas on holiday. I found that somewhat hard to accept. Because I am not at Aspect often, I cherish every minute of being in the office.
Defining positives and negatives of change
Negative changes in life include loss of family members, pets, employment, friendships and external changes in the world as a whole such as wars, massacres and riots. These impacts have devastating results on the lives of many people. It all depends on who is affected and how badly they are affected.
Positive changes include, finding a romantic partner, new friends, a new car, job, home, upgrades to your home or anything else that would improve lives. These are the kind of changes that we should be embracing because they can’t be that bad, can they? People generally need time to come around, so my advice is giving them time. Just keep calm and carry on with the present.
How to prepare a routine
With setting routines, try to focus on each day as it comes. Trying to plan for the next week or the whole year takes up a lot of energy and it gets tiring. Over-planning for the future can cause anxiety which is toxic to our mental health.
If you’re having trouble setting up a routine, you should ask someone for help such as a close friend or family member. They are important parts of your support system and are willing to make the time to assist you. Planning for the next day isn’t over planning, that is simply planning rationally.
Routines are a great thing to have in life because they keep our lives in order and the days structured. Sadly, they are subject to change which can be concerning to many Autistic people especially if they aren’t given much notice.
This is why it’s important to ensure the person is informed of change promptly rather than later. This is backed by research which has found that not being taken unawares gives Autistic people time to process, and by being prepared, have better control over their lives and surroundings (Lennuyeux-Comnene et al., 2024).
Some people can handle changes in life better than others. Many parents, teachers, guardians, carers and employers have Autistic people in their lives. They all need to take steps to ensure people with autism are given plenty of notice.
Personally, I prefer to be given notice so that I can prepare myself for any changes that happen. If I’m not told or informed too late, I sometimes become anxious and worried and can’t help worrying about the changes. If I’m told step by step what’s happening, that helps too.
In conclusion, change is hard to deal with for the most part. But we must all remember to give each other time and space to come around. Being pushy or forceful won’t help. Again, it is easier said than done, but it is still possible. The power of the mind is powerful.
First step for all of you, just take each day as it comes!
Written by Michael Theo.
References
Collis, E., Dark, E., Russell, A., & Brosnan, M. (2024). Self-Report of Restricted Repetitive Behaviors in Autistic Adults: A Systematic Review. Autism in Adulthood. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2023.0111
Lennuyeux-Comnene, L., Yates, J., & Gaigg, S. B. (2024). What Is Uncertainty? A Grounded Theory of the Role of Uncertainty in Anxiety in Autism. Autism in Adulthood. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2022.0085
